I see it again and again. In Denmark and internationally.
A talented leader, employee, or specialist sits across from me. They describe a boss who fails to prioritize clearly, changes direction mid-course, or lacks presence and sparring capacity.
My first question is almost always the same:
"Have you told your boss?"
Silence usually follows.
Not because they cannot see the problem. But because many of us - even experienced executives - still assume leadership only flows downward. We think leadership is something you exclusively exercise over your employees.
I see it differently.
Great leadership happens in 360 degrees. You lead downward, sideways, inward, and outward. But you also have a responsibility to lead upward - or more precisely: to take shared ownership of the relationship with your own manager.
It is not about taking over your boss's job. It is about creating the best possible conditions for mutual success.
You cannot afford to just wait
Many people hope their boss will magically discover when priorities are unclear, when boundaries are missing, or when a project is heading off course.
Sometimes that happens.
Most of the time, it does not.
Peter Drucker's leadership philosophy was built on a simple truth: Leaders and knowledge workers share responsibility for driving results. That means you cannot just execute your tasks well. You must actively help establish clarity around goals, expectations, and priorities.
If you lack a mandate, feel unsure about direction, or notice that a project has shifted, waiting for your manager to notice is rarely enough.
You need to bring it up.
Not because everything is your responsibility, but because the relationship is a joint one.
Silence is a hidden organizational cost
Professor Amy Edmondson's research on psychological safety shows that the best organizations are not those that make the fewest mistakes.
They are the ones where errors, doubts, and concerns surface while there is still time to fix them.
I often tell the leaders I coach:
"Silence is often dangerous."
When employees or leaders keep their doubts to themselves, the organization loses access to critical knowledge. In a knowledge economy, that is fatal.
Misunderstandings grow.
Decisions deteriorate.
And people spend unnecessary energy guessing what is actually expected of them.
This is rarely a lack of commitment.
It is usually a lack of courage.
Vulnerability is not weakness
Managing up is not about telling your boss how to manage.
It is about having the courage to voice what usually goes unsaid.
For example:
"I want to make sure I have understood our priorities correctly."
"I notice we shift direction frequently, which makes it hard to build momentum."
"I need more clarity to succeed with this assignment."
Taking that step requires courage.
Yet that is precisely how psychological safety is built.
Not through glossy posters on office walls.
But through someone daring to initiate the first difficult conversation.
Curiosity builds better leadership
Organizational psychologist Edgar Schein described "Humble Inquiry" as the art of building relationships through genuine curiosity.
That principle applies directly to the relationship with your manager.
Instead of jumping to conclusions, try asking:
"What matters most to you in this task?"
"How would you prefer to be involved?"
"Is there something I am missing here?"
These types of questions foster genuine collaboration rather than assumptions.
And they reduce the risk of working from conflicting pictures of reality.
Turn off the organizational autopilot
When we stay in an organization for a long time, we start taking the culture for granted. Culture becomes an unconscious autopilot - "that is just how we do things around here."
We adapt to ambiguous decision-making.
We get used to meetings where nobody speaks their mind.
We ignore conflicts that desperately need addressing.
We simply become habituated and run on autopilot.
A good internal mentor can help you understand the unwritten political rules of your company.
An external executive coach offers something different.
An external sparring partner stands outside the culture. They stand on the periphery and ask the direct questions no one internally thinks to ask anymore. The autopilot shuts off, you regain control of the wheel, and a new course can be set.
That is precisely why an external coach can expand your room to maneuver and reveal opportunities you could no longer see on your own.
Leadership flows in every direction
We talk endlessly about how leaders should develop their people.
Perhaps we should talk more about how employees, specialists, and managers can help develop their leaders.
Not through criticism.
But through dialogue.
Not by grabbing the wheel.
But by sharing responsibility.
The best relationship between a manager and an employee is never one where one person does all the thinking for the other.
It is one where both take ownership of the partnership.
That is what I mean by 360-degree leadership.
And it may well be the most overlooked leadership discipline of all.
Conclusion
Look up. Lead upward. Take responsibility. Break the silence. Show vulnerability.
It sounds simple, but we all know it is rarely easy. When you face a major challenge, do not navigate it alone. Choose your supporters. A skilled coach can help you find the courage to manage upward. It starts with a single step - a conversation to explore what is possible. It does not require a multi-year program; often, 3 - 4 focused sessions are enough. In the span of a long organizational life, that small investment yields extraordinary returns for your career and well-being.
